Wednesday, January 2, 2013

So today I was on the road at 4am and made it from St Paul to Little Rock, which means I only have 4 hours tomorrow. I miss my family already and am anxious about tomorrow. In all likelihood, in 24 hours, I will be on the way to divorce #2. (#1 doesn't count, lol...my 23 year old husband discovered he was gay...what can you do with THAT?). Still...this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I waited so long for him. He was supposed to be my partner for the rest of my life. Major bummer. On the upside, school is about to start back and less than 4 months until graduation...yay, me! (yes, I'm an ellipses freak...deal) And I can start making 4 years worth of equipment/gear/stops lists, lists, lists for the AT in 2017. Trying not to use busy-ness to avoid though. Reading lots of mindfulness stuff lately. Maybe I won't make the same mistakes in the future if I'm more present in the present. Emotional pain is not pain. Simply a sensation to be embraced and learned from. Yeah...not there yet. But I'm working on it. Presently, I'm very in the present, enjoying my present Immortal Zin. Not bad... Prayers, juju, vibes my way tomorrow if you are so inclined. p.s. I know "lots" is not a real word.

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