Saturday, February 9, 2013

Obsession #3

So when I'm not studying, on the clinical floor or dreaming about hiking the AT, my third obsession is COOKING. It's had to stay on the backburner while I'm in nursing school (when time isn't an issue, energy usually is). However, with the weekend yawning ahead of me and no test next week, I do believe I'll give the family a reprieve from buying rotisserie chicken yet again and do some cooking. I've always been a food snob which is funny because when I was growing up, we were always broke so I grew up on lots of casseroles. But once I could start cooking myself, I experimented with all kinds of flavors. While in my 20s, I had a lot more misses than hits, but in my 30s I hit my cooking stride and I'm actually quite good, if I say so myself. One of the things I'm looking forward to the most after graduation is really studying and getting into food. There's so much out there to learn and I'm an obsessed autodidactic!  So on the menu for tonight is shrimp etouffee from scratch and dulce de leche salted caramel cheesecake bars for dessert!! I love cooking but not as much as I love eating!! Happy weekend, everyone!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Another 48 behind me!

Well, as much as I dread the 48 hrs of hell each week, I will admit it goes pretty fast. And here I sit, typing away, with a 4 day weekend stretched out in front of me with NO test next week! That means just some clinical paperwork tomorrow and the rest of the weekend is MINE to do with whatever I wish. I had planned on a 10-mile hike in the Ouachitas but the weather is supposed to be miserable so I think I'll postpone. Of course a good student would use this time to study strips, practice codes, catch up on ACLS,  etc. But I'm thinking not. Well, maybe on Monday.

So I've decided to attend graduation for sure. What the hell, it's only about an hour and let's face it...I love these kids I'm in school with. I'm nearly as excited to see them graduate as I am to do so myself. So at least one thing in my life is decided! Everything else will have to wait because I don't need another trip to urgent care with the bloated face from hell. So I've downloaded the first season of The Wire and I think this weekend will be mindless TV and many glasses of wine.

Ha! Deer in headlights...get it??

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Back at it!

Well, my face is presentable again. Very scaly and still puffy but it will do for school this week. I'm in a cardiac step-down unit tomorrow for clinical and have to do my med pass and physical assessment check-off (LAST ONE before graduation!!) and I always get nervous about that. We've done it every level and I'm good at it but performance anxiety is a big thing for me. I'm hoping for an easy clinical day tomorrow but not holding my breath. Sometimes the calmer floors turn into the crazy floors. Someone coded there last week during clinicals so one just never knows. I really do love it and can't wait to be a nurse for real...hard to believe it's so close. Hoping I can pick up a few skills tomorrow too...our clinical grade depends on them this level. See you all on Friday!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Grad anxiety

I don't know what in the hell is the matter with me. After my little fiasco on the floor last week (see Vindication! post), I woke up Friday with my eyes swollen shut. Saturday was worse, the right side of my face was also swollen with hives. I looked like a stroked out domestic abuse victim. I tried some soap with tea tree oil and that at least got my eyes to open. By Sunday I started to panic because there was no way I could go to school or clinicals looking like this. Nothing new came into contact with my skin and benadryl was no help so I knew it wasn't allergy related. Which meant some kind of inflammatory response. So I hit my doc-in-the-box (which is an awesome place actually) hoping for some steroids. I ended up completely melting down with both the CNMA and my poor but wonderful NP. All they did is ask me what is going on in my life right now. That was all it took. Started breaking down talking about my crumbling marriage, my bank account which is now $2,000 in the red with a tuition payment coming up, plus my constant irrational fear of breaking an ankle in the next 95 days and not graduating. It turns out my face was an inflammatory STRESS response. UGH! 8mg of Decadron in the butt. My face is still slightly swollen today but much better. However, I had to submit my license request to the Texas Board of Nursing today. I did it, paid for it (sold my beloved camera equipment this weekend to do so) and thought I was going to throw up after. I don't understand why I have all this anxiety!! Shouldn't this be the COOLEST, MOST EXCITING time of my life?? I can't get into classes or clinicals this level. I'm worn out and stressed out and feel completely unprepared and not confident.  Why am I not over the moon excited right now? I really need to meditate and do some praying but I'm way too wound up to focus. Plus I have a Pedi exam tomorrow and can't focus to study for that either. Not to mention steroids make me zoom, zoom, zoom!! But it helps a little just to get it out there. A little. Okay, off to throw up...j/k. For now.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

AT Stalking

So for those of you who know anything at all about hiking the Appalachian Trail, you know that it's getting to be time for the NOBOs to get moving soon. I have been keeping up with Jordana as she gets ready to hit the trail and reading old trail journals of those who have gone before. Since I have four years before it's my turn, I thought about "adopting" a hiker each year between now and then. I would read a few journals, pick a hiker with a relate-able "voice" and offer support/encouragement to that particular hiker throughout their journey - maybe even bounce-boxing some goodies along the way. So I'm going to spend some time contemplating that and deciding if I really have the time to make that kind of commitment starting this year, considering the next 3 months are going to be madness....probably the 3 months after that as well as I get settled into whatever my new life will look like. But I like the idea. And in my heart, I'm out there anyway.

Someday!