Monday, April 1, 2013

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

So now that this song is stuck maddeningly in your head, let me explain. Yesterday we had Easter lunch at my stepsons' mom's house, as usual. Our family situation has always been unique. I get along great with my husband's ex and all four of us have more or less coparented the kids for 11 years with very few blips. I think that's quite a feat! So yesterday it was the usual gang: Me, the husband, his mom, the kids' mom, her mother, her husband's mom, her aunt and uncle and the kids. And I realized as she was praying over lunch that this was my last holiday meal as a member of this family. That realization brought many conflicting feelings along with it. Luckily I didn't do anything stupid like burst into tears, tear into my husband and his mother or anything like that. I just got a little teary and have tried to process all of the feelings since then. I'm still sorting them out. Sadness and hurt of course, anger...quite a bit of that actually, some fear, some relief and an abundance of love. I know it won't be my last holiday with everyone but it will be as a member of their family. But it's time to start looking forward.

In 39 days, I'll be a nurse! I can hardly believe it. I have a second interview with a hospice tomorrow but she said something about "hitting the ground running" when I have my GN so I'm hoping that's akin to a job offer! We'll see. A lot of things need to happen between now and settling somewhere on my own but in 3-4 months I should have a brand new life. Exciting and incredibly sad at the same time. Hope everyone had a lovely holiday...and sorry about the song! =)

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