Vindication!

So yesterday was my SICU rotation which I was really looking forward to because I am falling in love with critical care. My patient had a balloon in his heart which the cardiologist was ready to remove. This is done by literally yanking it out through the femoral artery, where it was inserted through. He asked me if I would like to apply the direct pressure. Are you kidding me? I'm a student. Of COURSE I want to shove a hemostat in some poor guys groin and hold it there perfectly still for 45 minutes! No, seriously. I do. So in one fell swoop, he yanks out the cath and ballon and blood squirts everywhere, movie style and super cool. He puts pressure on it then peeks twice. Both times = more squirting. Finally he's satisfied and I take over the pressure. I'm about 30 minutes in when I get that feeling. Things start getting swimmy, I'm nauseated and suddenly soaked with sweat. I try to breathe thru it but it's clear I'm about to go down. But if I do, this guy's femoral opens back up. So as much as I don't want to, I holler for my preceptor and she takes over. Thinking I need some sugar, I eat a granola bar and feel much better. So I go back out and take back over, feeling rather sheepish. I'm standing there with literally 2 MINUTES LEFT and it happens again! Wtf? I make it but barely. My preceptor comes over for the next step which I miss because I have to find an empty bed fast. I'm humiliated. A year in and some blood and pressure send me all syncopal?  That kind of stuff never used to bother me. My preceptor was amazingly sweet about it. I didn't feel like myself until about 1600 and the rest of my shift was great. Today I woke up exhausted but that's not unusual for the day after clinical. It feels similar to a hangover. So I'm in Pedi lecture and she splits us into birth order groups. Suddenly I'm way too hot and need some air. I'm soaked with sweat and sit down before I fall down. I decide to call it quits and go home after class which means missing the afternoon - something I have never done. When I get home I find I have 100.4 temp and sleep for the next 4 hours. I feel like shit but it's worth it. I'm totally and completely vindicated because I'm not a clinical wuss after all!